HAIRCUTS AND AUTISM: A Torturous Combination
The loud buzzing, the touching, the chunks of hair landing in strange places, the constant requests to sit still…for kids with heightened sensory issues, haircuts can be a form of cruel torture.
This EPIC school picture (“say cheese!”) demonstrates how awesome Jack’s hair can get in between haircuts.
We do our haircuts at home, which is obvious to anyone who sees our jagged haired kids. But it’s one way to save money on little people who don’t care one way or the other. My modus operandi for many years with 3 little boys was always: #2 attachment on the clippers all over and done. Then the maximum time could pass until the next haircut, letting them go from almost bald to very shaggy. Luckily I’ve improved a bit; having a teen now forces me to step up my game on my haircut attacks.
In his younger years, Jack was fine with getting a haircut; the buzzing clippers perhaps soothed him. At about age 4, he snapped and haircut time became a screaming wrestling match. Jack vs. both parents with a sharp cutting object. Yikes. No fun for anyone. Sometimes we stopped mid-cut and the blocks of uncut hair remained.
Time to change up our approach to haircuts…
Sometimes haircuts turn into Dad trying to buzz upside down while Jack tries to squeeze Dad’s leg off. I’m sure this is a proper hair cutting technique, right?
Imagine with me our efforts to lighten up the haircut scene: sneaking up behind him as he comfortably watches a show, letting him play iPad during, offering candy throughout. Epic fail each time, and somebody get that iPad away before he throws it on the tile! (Read another iPad approach fail here.)
Let Jack be in charge…
Our occupational therapist suggested we let Jack cut someone else’s hair to get him comfortable with the process. Enter unconcerned 8 year old brother. Jack had a great time ‘torturing’ someone else with the clippers! The whole time I was saying, “it’s your turn next! I’ll tickle your head just like this!” Unfortunately, this plan didn’t work for us. Jack’s turn came, and nope—he was having none of this. Same tantrums as before.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!” Oh, that line kills me.
Bring in the professionals…
I have taken Jack to salons in the past. I told them he has autism and you have to be fast and he’ll squirm. The first time was an ok haircut experience, maybe because it was a different experience and Jack didn’t understand what was coming. The next time truly flustered the stylist and Jack came out with the same uneven look we could produce in our home battles.
Now, bring in the RIGHT professionals…
Jack zoned out as he played a video game and watched a show while the stylist calmly cut his hair.
One day, it hit me. A lot of kids don’t like haircuts. I’ve heard of specific places designed for them. In our particular area, there’s a kid salon called Cookie Cutters. I had to try it—and if this plot didn’t work, well then maybe we should just grow out his hair indefinitely.
What a place! There was a small playground in the waiting area. The haircut stations each had a fun car to sit in and a tv with video games. I was actually a little worried upon entering that this place might be too overstimulating with all of its fun colors and kid stuff, but Jack didn’t seem to mind.
We conquered the haircut! Look at this kid!
I warned the stylist about Jack’s autism and potential reactions. The lady was awesome about showing Jack everything and setting him up with a chosen Wii game. Jack didn’t even flinch when the stylist started. (Oh screens! They do get the job done sometimes.) The haircut went flawlessly and I felt a little silly for seeming so overprotective in my instructions at the beginning. Success!
And then all of my haircutting dreams came true. Ha! For now.
Our return to the kids’ salon a second time a few months later yielded the same awesome results. I assumed we would continue like this. However, one home hair cutting day, my husband was cutting a different son’s hair. Jack was watching. When he finished, Jack hopped into the chair. My husband went with it, started cutting, and didn’t make a big deal of anything.
Sitting still and haircuts-a beautiful combination!
And it worked! Jack still has a hard time relaxing, so half the haircut time is spent helping him put his shoulders down and coaxing him to rest his neck muscles. And oh, Jack’s tongue! I can’t figure out how to get him to close his mouth during a haircut. This results in a lot of discomfort with hair on his tongue and we have to stop a lot to wipe it off. But, we’ll take it. He’s making it through without a screaming fit and the shaggy hair is coming off!
Home haircuts happened again last week and Jack was just a regular part of the whole hairy event. We still produced some fairly jagged headed boys, what with our limited skills, but everyone came out happy.
>> Ok, now I want to hear your haircutting stories! Tantrums? Strategies? I want to hear the good, the bad, and the possibly very UGLY! <<
> This post contains an affiliate link for the exact product we use. <
Little things are big things as we are all finding out through your posts. You are such an interesting writer!
Thanks! Yes, Jack’s helping me to notice the ‘little things’ that weren’t a big problem before 🙂
So my son Tayt has autism also and my wife’s older sister is a hair stylist and so we have always received haircuts for free, until we moved up to Washington. But she was always good about letting him touch the clippers before every haircut and she also said it was better for us to leave, because our constant attempts to get him to stay still were making it worse for her. He would move around more. So he now only has some issues every now and again depending on how worked up he is. The more stimulated he is the more he moves. So we’ve tried to make we aren’t constantly correcting him and that he’s not over stimulated. That has made his haircut’s more bearable for him and his hair is straighter, too.
Thank you! I love that she made you leave; sometimes as parents we ‘get in the way’ as we’re trying to help. I will refrain from >constant< nagging the next time and see how it goes!
We go through the same battle! Our son who is autistic is only 2, so when his hair gets to looking like baby Justin bribery, we give a hair cut in the bathtub. I know, crazy, but it’s the only place he’s still long enough and doesn’t notice the random scissor trims. Definitely cannot use a razor though. We have a place like yours called Hairy Elephant. I plan on getting brave the next hair cut and going to see them.
Wow, the bathtub-that’s creative! We all gotta do what we gotta do, right?! Good luck with the next haircut!
What an adventure of discovery! So nice to hear everyone’s strategies. Haircuts+any kid= challenge!
My older son has asbergers and he tends to stem quite a bit. The barbershop was always a hassle. Seems the barber jerking his head around really set him off. They are supposed to be pros, hairstylists jerk your head around as well, I fired my last one as he was downright rough as well as rude. I dont know why they never learned manners, such as can you tilt your head down, can you look to the right, chin up now. Hubby took over the haircuts for both of my boys a few years back and doing them at home seemed far less stressful than the barbershop being he does those simple things, treating someone respectfully makes a world of difference. And the haircuts leave a smile on my face at how handsome they look after they each get a fresh haircut. I think knowing he looks good in front of his friends helps alot. He actually came home one day and said a couple classmates told him, nice haircut. Whatever works.
Hooray for your husband who could lovingly take over the haircuts! I’m glad his classmates said something; that can make a big difference.