AUTISM AND “GIFTS”: Trying to Find Jack’s “Thing”

Ever since I started delving into autism research and talking with other moms and professionals, I have wondered if Jack was going to become a “prodigy” in something. Fixation can be a big part of autism, which can lead to mastery, so I just need to find where Jack’s “gift” lies, right?

I listened to a fascinating book a while back called The Spark: a Mother’s Story of Nurturing Genius, and Autism by Kristine Barnett. She stresses observing your child’s fixations, facilitating them, and doing everything in your power to help your child uncover and grow those gifts. Her story is quite over the top as her son entered into his university education as a child, but I learned a lot from that concept. I try harder to notice what Jack and each of my children are drawn to and nurture those interests.

The Question is: What is Jack’s “Thing”?

After our stint with team sports, I have had visions of Jack getting into swimming or track or cross country running. I’ve heard that these individual sports are perfect for kids who aren’t great with teamwork but are motivated by times and goals and rules.

And while Jack has a whole life ahead of him to get into these things, so far my plans aren’t quite panning out.

Following a not-so-successful track season, I wanted to give up on the whole Operation: Individualized Sports Superstar plan. My kid just isn’t coordinated and good at following instructions yet. Maybe my child’s gift really is just video games…he IS CRAZY good at iPad games that involve quick reflexes on their ever changing courses.

A “Gift” Emerges?

However, one day Jack came home from church singing a children’s song and started plunking out the tune on the piano on his own! What?? As I thought through it, he has always been able to match pitches as he sings so I know he’s got something musical going on. Hmmm…I was on the phone signing him up for piano lessons the next day.

Sure enough, he whizzed through the beginning level of piano books and is creeping up on passing his older brother’s skills (oh boy, that’ll get interesting there).

Now, lest you think that I think this is “IT”
—that I have a musical prodigy— I am very aware that the easy part is over. The music and theory is starting to get challenging and Jack is not one for tackling anything that takes uncomfortable effort. Additionally, Jack thought piano lessons were over when he earned a reward from the teacher for practicing every day for a month. After his prize was long since consumed, whenever I tried to get him to practice again he told me he had won the prize and finished piano lessons. Between that and a schedule change when school started again, both the teacher and I had to talk him through a practice plan that he’s now accepting.

Do I believe that Jack has a “gift” or a “thing”?

Well, I will definitely say that Jack has “obsessions“. His interests seem to change with the seasons. One month he is obsessed with UNO, another he is working on his chess game, then his next thing is memorizing Dog Man books. Ever since Christmas he’s been perfecting his “Just Dance” moves like they were going out of style, which is really, really entertaining to watch!

Regarding his emerging piano talents, I am pleased that Jack is progressing in something and the fact that it involves music makes me and his musical dad very happy. All of these “things” Jack gets obsessed with: they’re all good, all fun to observe, they all add up to make up my Jack—prodigy or not.