JACK TAKES CHARGE: Family Vacation 2016

Here’s our family, under the dirt and sweat of a week of camping!

Before we begin, a little background on the nature of our 2016 family vacation: we went to a week of family scout camp (Wood Badge/Family Odyssey). Meaning that my husband was getting intense scout leadership training while the family was there playing at camp. Each of us was assigned to an age group with leaders, going off to activities during the morning and again in the afternoon. Sounds easy, right?

I have to say that I was quite hopeful for this setup, particularly for Jack. With him being a kid on the Autism Spectrum, I tend to keep him in very protected settings, either sticking with me or in special ed. This was an opportunity to see how he would react, integrated with typical kids and non-specialized leaders. I sent off an email to the leaders with a document of Jack’s needs and strategies. I was quite aware that they would have a full plate already, just dealing with a large group of 5 year olds out in nature. This would be a fun experiment for all, right?

Happy and clean on the first day!

The first day went quite well. I introduced Jack to his leaders and explained that he would be going to ‘school’ with them. He followed them unknowingly off to whatever was happening. And he came back smiling. This was great.

We went to lunch. And then it was time to go BACK to his ‘Explorers’ group. What, Mom?! Again? We already did this! Now for the tricky part: getting him to return to something he thought he had tolerated for long enough.

Good ol’ Simon, AKA The Color Game

Want to see my little lifesaver of the week? My “Then” of the “First, Then Strategy“? Meet ‘Simon’, the travel version of the old game with colors and light patterns. This was Jack’s ‘video game’ for camping. This is what he did to unwind, what he EXPECTED to be able to do. I let him play for a bit and then the promise of Simon enabled him to return to his class.

We’ll get back to his group in a bit. Wow, there were so many transitions to manage at camp that this kid and his mom’s heads were spinning. I soon realized that we just couldn’t do everything. Morning announcements and flag ceremonies became optional excursions in my mind, campfire programs would only work if he was totally on board. One enormous help was that our tent was very near the main meeting place. I was able to easily overhear announcements and peek over to the group to watch my other kids do their gathering activities. And when it was time, it wasn’t too far to coax Jack to walk to meet his group.

However, the cafeteria was NOT close by. And eating was one activity I insisted on. Getting to meals 3 times a day involved LEAVING the comforts of our tent, figuring out a strategy to get him to move along the trail (racing, carrying, pushing, meandering wherever he wanted…), up the hill and somehow getting through the hand sanitizer monitor lady on to the food. Luckily, the cereal and juice were always flowing in the cafeteria, so no matter what meal was served, Jack was well fed.

Hey, this post is my first appearance on this blog!

I learned quite quickly that it was best to not go back to the tent in between things. It was too hard to leave our home base. I stuck Simon in my backpack so he could get that unwinding time in other locations. Mid-week he figured me out after lunch and insisted on going to the campsite. He was adamant that he wouldn’t go back to Explorers class that day and I let him stay. He never would go back after lunch after that one break day I gave him. We did have a great time lying around taking our first ever selfies together.

The last dinner was the culmination of all of our frustration. It all began with Jack wanting to take one path from our campsite, but I dragged him on the shorter one. He never let me forget this deprivation as I pulled him screaming all the way to dinner. He sat at the table angrily and spilled a drink. He began yelling that he needed a napkin. A BIG NAPKIN! I brought him a napkin. He threw it on the ground. I brought him a big stack of napkins. He tore them up and threw them. I opened napkins and made them big. NO! His sister tried to get him a bathroom paper towel. Nope. After my ignoring his tantruming for a bit, he took my hand, and pulled me to the bathroom. We got one paper towel. No, not big. We got another paper towel of the same size—that was it! The BIG napkin. He took it and wiped up his spill. He ate, and when we returned to camp he took me to his preferred beginning path, made me walk on it with him, and he pointed to my path and said “Never that path Mom.”

Lest you think the week was all drudgery for Jack, I believe some of his highlights included: archery with Dad, SWIMMING, Jack himself guessing the winning number of cheeseballs in a ginormous container we now own, completing a junior ropes course, performing for me ‘The Ants Go Marching’ song all the way up to 30-a darling adaptation from what he learned in his group. And I wasn’t even with him for all of the time; I’m sure he had great experiences without me ever knowing.

One morning I snapped this picture as groups were forming to leave. His 5 year old group is doing a cheer with hand actions. Can you spot Jack on the ground?

Jack’s Wilderness Explorer Group: One of these kids is not like the other.

As much as I thought Jack might fit into a ‘typical’ group, I saw this scene and remembered that he is happy and content doing his thing, be it digging in the dirt beside them, or playing Simon in his comfortable tent. Family Camp 2016: we learned, we played, we survived those transitions…barely.

>> I must give a huge shout out to my 10-year-old daughter for helping me immensely during the week. Her strategies and demeanor with Jack, especially to move him along the trail to meals were remarkable. Siblings can be amazing! <<