TIPS FOR ENJOYING THE HOLIDAYS, Even with Autism Around

Well, here we are again—December is in full swing! And with it comes both calendar and sensory overload! From challenging foods to loud noises and big groups of people; the holiday season is like the big test of holding it together at the end of the year.

One major ‘issue’ about the holidays= a change in routines and schedules. Sometimes this is hard to avoid and there must be some preparations made to smooth out the bumps these changes will cause. (And sometimes it’s just best to avoid certain situations if you know it will end in disaster!)

I’ve got a few tips for enjoying the holidays as you are out and about, based on things I’ve learned from Jack. On the flip side, if you happen to be HOSTING an individual with autism, you can take from this list and see if you can provide assistance with some of these suggestions:

Facing Foods: 

• Going to a party? Bring your own food.

Yes, we are trying to AVOID eating meltdowns such as this one.

If unfamiliar food is going to be a problem, be prepared! Bring your child’s favorite sandwich and familiar snacks. I always keep my bag stocked with fruit snacks, granola bars, pretzels or goldfish, and if I’m on top of things for the outing, I add a sandwich or fruit or string cheese.

• Didn’t bring food? Scout out which foods will work for your child.

At Thanksgiving I knew all of the holiday food would not fly for Jack. I didn’t want to overwhelm him with a lot of food or anything too strange.  So I made a small plate of a few pieces of turkey and a roll. He took many more rolls on his own… He ate with no drama and he was full. And I ate in peace, which is very important!

Get Ready to Party:

Before entering a party or overwhelming atmosphere, try “warming up” for it. Do some jumps, squeezing, swinging, spinning…whatever will get your child in party mode. When Jack gets overwhelmed by intense situations, it might be in part because his brain was not “awake enough” to take it all in. I wrote a post a year ago that touches on this idea.

I’ve had many a time that we’ve hurried into a celebration, only to quickly see the need to take Jack outside to jump and spin for a few minutes. Then we re-enter the situation ready to go.

Lessen the Overload:

Jack survived the Christmas sing along with thousands of people by relaxing on Grandpa’s lap!

If you’re going into a party, scout out the room from the beginning. Is there a place away from music speakers or loud groups of people? Can you get far from annoying decorations or food smells? That might need to be your spot for the night. Jack sometimes scouts out his own “safe places”, oftentimes under the table where he lies down.

Do you use noise cancellation headphones? If your child is used to and finds comfort in them, pull them out! Headphones saved our 4th of July as we watched fireworks with Jack. I think they made him feel safe more than anything.

Prepare for People

Before heading out, let your child know what to expect regarding people. “It will be busy and crowded” or “Sam will be there!” can be helpful to gear them up for the situation. You know your child and how much detail they can handle. I like to let Jack know that “there will be so many people, but they will be happy, so we’ll all just have fun together.”

Additionally, if it’s appropriate, let other people know about your child beforehand. You can inform them that you might need a special accommodation, or that “he might not talk to you, but he likes to watch you from his distance.” Or “if the music gets too loud, we might step out for a bit.” This can get a host or friend thinking about potential needs or situations ahead of time.

Take a Time Out

I know that Jack can only handle so much noise, social interaction, and unfamiliarity. I really can’t expect a whole party’s worth of awesome behavior. That’s why I try to have a plan to go to another room or quiet corner to give him a break.

I like to have some familiar items or techniques to soothe him. A lot of people use screens and we do use a phone or tablet in a pinch. But some other tools are (contains affiliate links):

• Fidgets, such as a spinner or cube
• Handheld games such as Simon (can you tell that’s one of my favorites since I keep talking about it?!)
• A water and oil toy
• Know any hand games or songs? These days Jack is into good ol’ Rock-Paper-Scissors.
• Relaxation: Some kids might do well with curling up with their blanket or closing their eyes.
• Touch. I feel fortunate that at this point Jack can basically come to me and I can scratch his back and head and squeeze his arms. He either just relaxes and stays with me for more, or he’s ‘reset’ and good to go off playing again.

When All Else Fails, Escape!

Guess what, sometimes things just don’t work out. It may be the timing, another child that did something ‘wrong’, a failed expectation, a smell…you never know what can throw your kid off. If your child is entering a meltdown stage and you can see that zero of these techniques will work, it’s time to leave. No one likes a screaming kid, and you are excused to get to the comfort of your own home.

Sorry to end on a low note! I would assume that with all of the different goings-on of the holidays there will be several hits and some misses. Expect to leave a few events early and have to stay home at the last-minute for others. It’s ok.

Happy Holidays to You!

After the eating, ‘hiding’ in quiet corners, the warm-up and preparations, hopefully there will be some amazing and magical moments that will make all the efforts worth it.  The holidays are fun, although they  might need to be experienced in a low-key manner at times. And sometimes those quiet, slow moments are the more meaningful ones anyway.

This is from last year, but Merry Christmas from my crew! (Jack’s in the green shirt)